First Advert Draft

This is the draft for our 20/20 Advert.

In terms of the narrative we agree that it needs to be more obvious that she's in a rush; to make the mistake of brushing her teeth with paint more realistic. This could mean during the shot where she leaves, she is seen struggling to put on her jacket while packing her bag and walking faster when greeting her neighbour. Or even an extra shot of her rushing down the stairs; this would also help to create continuity because the audience would assume the bathroom is upstairs. We also agree that the reaction of the neighbour needs to be longer to ensure the comedic effect we're going for. Also the shot of the main character walking away to work, oblivious, is important in the humiliation and therefore comedy of the advert. Therefore, it too, needs to be longer. Our slogan and logo will appear, superimposed, on this shot, so it needs to be long enough for the audience to take it in.
Other adjustments: The fade to black at 6 seconds needs to be a sudden change, not a fade. This is to give the impression that she is turning out the lights, and going to bed. When we film the final advert we will film the first 6seconds at night time to create realism. So we can actually turn the lights off; the sound of this will create further realism. Filming the rest will happen during daytime, so it will be important for us to keep the camera in the same place for the shots of the paint tube. This may mean we film the 6 seconds plus at the beginning of the day, leave the camera in the same place until it gets dark and film the beginning 6 seconds.
Looking back at our research of Specsavers adverts we have noted that the punchline is kept a secret until the very end. For instance you don't realise the farmer has shaved his dog until the very end http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubf28LPnfYs . Therefore we think that the shot of her brushing her teeth should be removed and replaced with one where we don't actually see her mouth. Maybe a shot of her eyes looking tired which will emphasise the fact that has just woken up and late.
The colour of the paint will not be red because it looks a bit like blood and so may distract the audience from the point of the advert.We also had to change the toothbrush because we had to use a spare one so that we could put paint on it. In the real thing we will make sure to use the same toothbrush in each shot.
We will find some birdsong on Youtube to play when she wakes up in the morning because there is none on iMovie.
The paint on her teeth at the end lacks in amount and therefore obviousness. This is because we didn't have any chocolate spread on the day. We must remember to buy some for next time and make sure she has it on all of her teeth!